opeeeen my eyes (to a world full of dreams)
where ever-y-thing (nothing) is as granduer as it seems
splash the bluest water in my faaaace, and in its place^^^
reeee-a-liiize: fate has turned its back on meee
lived so long, let it take the reins
become a runaway train
a zombie in an imaginary world awoke
frighten child sooobs and chokes
the dingy water stings my eeeyes
fate has fufilled nothing but liiiies
abberation: the only way to survive
deviate and derive
acumen: renew a sense of self again
and
blow the ashes away with the wind
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
taking responsibility of oyur life...
Taking Responsibility For Your Life
Everything you are or ever will be is completely up to you. Everything that has happened and is happening in your life is because of your behavior, words, and actions. You have the freedom of choice. Virtually every circumstance in your life so far, you have chosen out of your own free will. This means, that you are completely responsible for all your successes and failures; your happiness; your unhappiness; and everything in your present and future.
This realization is like a parachute jump: It’s scary and exhilarating at the same time. Taking total responsibility for your life is one of the most important things you can ever do. Accepting complete responsibility for all your actions represents maturity in your life. When you accept complete responsibility for everything in your life, success, achievement, and self-actualization will follow. You can never accomplish anything of value in your life or have any real measure of happiness without first accepting complete responsibility for all your words, actions, and decisions.
Accepting that you are completely responsible for yourself and realizing that no one is coming to the rescue will mark the starting point of peak performance in your life. Once you accept total responsibility for every decision you make and every action you take, there is virtually nothing that you cannot do, have, and accomplish.
The acceptance of responsibility is so important, that it comes before goal setting. Until you accept total responsibility, you will not seriously set goals and make plans for their achievement. Without accepting complete responsibility, you are unconsciously leaving yourself a way out. This failure to be totally responsible is the equivalent of creating a mental escape hatch that enables you to avoid being accountable for success or failure.
Unfortunately, most people simply make excuses for their failures. They blame other people and things for what’s happening in their life. Since everything we do in life is a matter of habit, when we get in the habit of making excuses for things that happen in our lives, we then get in the habit of evading responsibility at the same time. People who are not successful will often set a goal, and then at the same time create, and hold an excuse that they can use if they find out that their goal is too difficult or requires more self-discipline and persistence than they originally thought.
Underachievers will tend to blame other people or events for things in their lives that they don’t like. The waiting rooms of psychologists and psychotherapists are full of people who are still blaming their parents or anyone else who has been part of their past or present life for all their shortcomings. They’re still saying that someone or something is responsible for their failure to achieve happiness. They’re still looking outside themselves to explain the parts of their lives they don’t like. They’ve unwittingly gotten into the habit of making excuses and blaming for so long that they don’t know how to do anything else.
There is a direct relationship between the amount of responsibility that you accept and the amount of control that you feel. The more responsibility you take, the more in control you are. There is also a relationship between the amount of responsibility you accept and the amount of freedom you feel. The more responsibility you take, the more freedom you have to make decisions, and to do the things you want to do. And if you put all of this together, you’ll find that accepting responsibility is directly tied to, control, freedom, and happiness. The happiest people in the world are those who feel good about themselves. Feeling good about yourself is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of your life.
A person who is unwilling to completely accept responsibility for his or her life is subject to anger, hostility, fear, resentment, and doubt. Psychological studies have shown that negative emotions are closely associated with blame. On average, 99 percent of all our problems exist only because we we’re able to blame someone or something for them. The instant we stop blaming, our negative emotions begin disappearing.
How do you break the habit of blaming? Use the Law of Substitution which says, your mind can only hold one thought at a time, positive or negative. You can substitute a positive thought for a negative thought whenever you choose. This means, you can override the tendency to blame and become angry simply by saying, firmly, “I am responsible!” You can’t accept responsibility for a situation and be angry at the same time. You can’t accept responsibility and be unhappy or upset. The acceptance of responsibility negates negative emotions and short-circuits the tendencies toward unhappiness.
The very act of accepting responsibility calms your mind and clarifies your vision. It soothes your emotions and enables you to think more positively and constructively. Accepting responsibility gives you insight into what you should do to resolve the situation you are in.
Very often, the problems people have are with other people; problems in their close personal relationships, with their spouses, their children, their friends, and their coworkers. Think of the people in your life who cause you any stress or anxiety and ask yourself, who is responsible? Are they responsible for being in your life, or are you responsible for having those people in your life?
The Law of Attraction says that “you are a living magnet” and that you inevitably attract the people and circumstances into your life that harmonize with your dominant thoughts, especially those thoughts that you give strong emotion to. The people in your life are there because you’ve attracted them by the person you are, the thoughts you hold, and by the emotions you experience. If you’re not happy with the relationships you’re in, you’re responsible. You’ve attracted them, and you’re keeping them there.
If you’ve had a bad relationship, you need to ask yourself, who got you there? If you weren’t forced into the relationship and kept there against your will, then it’s a matter of free will and free choice on your part. If you’re not happy, it’s up to you do something about it. If you’re not happy with the situation, do something about it. If you’re not willing to do something about it, then don’t complain.
Are you happy with your job? If you’re a business owner, are you happy with your business? Are you happy with the amount of money you’re earning? Are you happy with the level of responsibility and your activities each day? If you’re not, you need to accept that you’re completely responsible for every aspect of your job and your career. Why? Because you chose it freely. You took the job or started the business. You assumed the responsibility and accepted the amount of compensation for your job. If you’re not happy with any of the situations in your life, for any reason, then it’s up to you to do something different.
You’re earning today exactly what you’re worth, not a penny more and not a penny less. In life, we tend to get exactly what we deserve. If you’re not satisfied with what you’re getting, look around you at the people who are doing the kind of work you would like to do and earning the kind of money you would like to earn. Find out what they are doing differently from you. Once you find out what they are doing differently, accept complete responsibility for your situation and start applying the power of you mind and all your abilities. And then back them with willpower and self-discipline. Then get busy making the changes you need to make to create and enjoy the life you want.
One of your highest goals in life should be to develop your character. Character is composed of self-esteem, self-discipline, and the ability to delay gratification. Most importantly character is the willingness to accept full responsibility for your life and everything in it. The more you say to yourself, “I am responsible,” in every situation, the stronger your character will become. And every part of your life will improve at the same time.
Copyright©2004 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.
Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total success. He is the founder and CEO of JLM & Associates, a consulting and training organization, specializing in personal and business development. Through his seminars and lectures, Joe Love addresses thousands of men and women each year, including the executives and staffs of many businesses around the world on the subjects of leadership, achievement, goals, strategic business planning, and marketing. Joe is the author of three books, Starting Your Own Business, Finding Your Purpose In Life, and The Guerrilla Marketing Workbook.
Reach Joe at: joe@jlmandassociates.com
Everything you are or ever will be is completely up to you. Everything that has happened and is happening in your life is because of your behavior, words, and actions. You have the freedom of choice. Virtually every circumstance in your life so far, you have chosen out of your own free will. This means, that you are completely responsible for all your successes and failures; your happiness; your unhappiness; and everything in your present and future.
This realization is like a parachute jump: It’s scary and exhilarating at the same time. Taking total responsibility for your life is one of the most important things you can ever do. Accepting complete responsibility for all your actions represents maturity in your life. When you accept complete responsibility for everything in your life, success, achievement, and self-actualization will follow. You can never accomplish anything of value in your life or have any real measure of happiness without first accepting complete responsibility for all your words, actions, and decisions.
Accepting that you are completely responsible for yourself and realizing that no one is coming to the rescue will mark the starting point of peak performance in your life. Once you accept total responsibility for every decision you make and every action you take, there is virtually nothing that you cannot do, have, and accomplish.
The acceptance of responsibility is so important, that it comes before goal setting. Until you accept total responsibility, you will not seriously set goals and make plans for their achievement. Without accepting complete responsibility, you are unconsciously leaving yourself a way out. This failure to be totally responsible is the equivalent of creating a mental escape hatch that enables you to avoid being accountable for success or failure.
Unfortunately, most people simply make excuses for their failures. They blame other people and things for what’s happening in their life. Since everything we do in life is a matter of habit, when we get in the habit of making excuses for things that happen in our lives, we then get in the habit of evading responsibility at the same time. People who are not successful will often set a goal, and then at the same time create, and hold an excuse that they can use if they find out that their goal is too difficult or requires more self-discipline and persistence than they originally thought.
Underachievers will tend to blame other people or events for things in their lives that they don’t like. The waiting rooms of psychologists and psychotherapists are full of people who are still blaming their parents or anyone else who has been part of their past or present life for all their shortcomings. They’re still saying that someone or something is responsible for their failure to achieve happiness. They’re still looking outside themselves to explain the parts of their lives they don’t like. They’ve unwittingly gotten into the habit of making excuses and blaming for so long that they don’t know how to do anything else.
There is a direct relationship between the amount of responsibility that you accept and the amount of control that you feel. The more responsibility you take, the more in control you are. There is also a relationship between the amount of responsibility you accept and the amount of freedom you feel. The more responsibility you take, the more freedom you have to make decisions, and to do the things you want to do. And if you put all of this together, you’ll find that accepting responsibility is directly tied to, control, freedom, and happiness. The happiest people in the world are those who feel good about themselves. Feeling good about yourself is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of your life.
A person who is unwilling to completely accept responsibility for his or her life is subject to anger, hostility, fear, resentment, and doubt. Psychological studies have shown that negative emotions are closely associated with blame. On average, 99 percent of all our problems exist only because we we’re able to blame someone or something for them. The instant we stop blaming, our negative emotions begin disappearing.
How do you break the habit of blaming? Use the Law of Substitution which says, your mind can only hold one thought at a time, positive or negative. You can substitute a positive thought for a negative thought whenever you choose. This means, you can override the tendency to blame and become angry simply by saying, firmly, “I am responsible!” You can’t accept responsibility for a situation and be angry at the same time. You can’t accept responsibility and be unhappy or upset. The acceptance of responsibility negates negative emotions and short-circuits the tendencies toward unhappiness.
The very act of accepting responsibility calms your mind and clarifies your vision. It soothes your emotions and enables you to think more positively and constructively. Accepting responsibility gives you insight into what you should do to resolve the situation you are in.
Very often, the problems people have are with other people; problems in their close personal relationships, with their spouses, their children, their friends, and their coworkers. Think of the people in your life who cause you any stress or anxiety and ask yourself, who is responsible? Are they responsible for being in your life, or are you responsible for having those people in your life?
The Law of Attraction says that “you are a living magnet” and that you inevitably attract the people and circumstances into your life that harmonize with your dominant thoughts, especially those thoughts that you give strong emotion to. The people in your life are there because you’ve attracted them by the person you are, the thoughts you hold, and by the emotions you experience. If you’re not happy with the relationships you’re in, you’re responsible. You’ve attracted them, and you’re keeping them there.
If you’ve had a bad relationship, you need to ask yourself, who got you there? If you weren’t forced into the relationship and kept there against your will, then it’s a matter of free will and free choice on your part. If you’re not happy, it’s up to you do something about it. If you’re not happy with the situation, do something about it. If you’re not willing to do something about it, then don’t complain.
Are you happy with your job? If you’re a business owner, are you happy with your business? Are you happy with the amount of money you’re earning? Are you happy with the level of responsibility and your activities each day? If you’re not, you need to accept that you’re completely responsible for every aspect of your job and your career. Why? Because you chose it freely. You took the job or started the business. You assumed the responsibility and accepted the amount of compensation for your job. If you’re not happy with any of the situations in your life, for any reason, then it’s up to you to do something different.
You’re earning today exactly what you’re worth, not a penny more and not a penny less. In life, we tend to get exactly what we deserve. If you’re not satisfied with what you’re getting, look around you at the people who are doing the kind of work you would like to do and earning the kind of money you would like to earn. Find out what they are doing differently from you. Once you find out what they are doing differently, accept complete responsibility for your situation and start applying the power of you mind and all your abilities. And then back them with willpower and self-discipline. Then get busy making the changes you need to make to create and enjoy the life you want.
One of your highest goals in life should be to develop your character. Character is composed of self-esteem, self-discipline, and the ability to delay gratification. Most importantly character is the willingness to accept full responsibility for your life and everything in it. The more you say to yourself, “I am responsible,” in every situation, the stronger your character will become. And every part of your life will improve at the same time.
Copyright©2004 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.
Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total success. He is the founder and CEO of JLM & Associates, a consulting and training organization, specializing in personal and business development. Through his seminars and lectures, Joe Love addresses thousands of men and women each year, including the executives and staffs of many businesses around the world on the subjects of leadership, achievement, goals, strategic business planning, and marketing. Joe is the author of three books, Starting Your Own Business, Finding Your Purpose In Life, and The Guerrilla Marketing Workbook.
Reach Joe at: joe@jlmandassociates.com
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
I have a crazy idea... ok its not THAT crazy
So I came up with this idea. I'm gonna spend the night at the shore. My boyfriend and I and 2 of his friends are going to meet a girl I work with at her bungalow rental in Point Pleasant tonight. Pregame a little, and then head over to Jenks bar/club for some BEERPONG! Its Jager specials night, theyre giving away Mets(ew) tickets, $1 drafts and $5 pitchers. could be super fun! Actually, its always fun at the Jersey Shore! We prob wont spend the night, everyones got work early(except me!) but it'll be a funfilled night right in the middle of a helluva week! I'm gonna try drinking beer, hope I dont get sick(I'm allergic to hopps). If you read this, come meet us and tag along!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I thought I was... unforgetable?
I thought I was...
Unforgetable, undeniable...I find I am undetermined. I thought I was sexy, sassy, feisty, ferocsious, unique, one-of-a-kind, THE one... to someone. Even a Jersey Girl gets hurt. Even she listens intently to high hopes and honey sweet words mumbled under chocolate brown eyes that are, in reality, full of shit. Even she is sweep away in a whirlwind moment of raw emotion and adrenaline, only to one day come crashing back to earth. When you said someday, you meant probably not. When you said amazing,gorgeous,babe... you meant there's better, there's someone else. And it wasn't someone saving the space, keeping the spot warm... it was someone taking the place, keeping the bed warm. Even the toughest hearts shatter and fall into the pit of your stomache... But its the toughest ones who choke it back, suck it up, and realize it was never meant to be. No really heart(and head...), it was NEVER meant to be. Good talk. Hang in there.
Unforgetable, undeniable...I find I am undetermined. I thought I was sexy, sassy, feisty, ferocsious, unique, one-of-a-kind, THE one... to someone. Even a Jersey Girl gets hurt. Even she listens intently to high hopes and honey sweet words mumbled under chocolate brown eyes that are, in reality, full of shit. Even she is sweep away in a whirlwind moment of raw emotion and adrenaline, only to one day come crashing back to earth. When you said someday, you meant probably not. When you said amazing,gorgeous,babe... you meant there's better, there's someone else. And it wasn't someone saving the space, keeping the spot warm... it was someone taking the place, keeping the bed warm. Even the toughest hearts shatter and fall into the pit of your stomache... But its the toughest ones who choke it back, suck it up, and realize it was never meant to be. No really heart(and head...), it was NEVER meant to be. Good talk. Hang in there.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
I partied with Jersey Shore
Crazyness. Friday, 8/13/10... I headed down to the Jersey Shore to end up partying with the cast of Jersey Shore. Ane Woah shock- they are practically just normal people. They dumb it up for the cameras, do you believe that?
Here's the scoop
I got down there, stopped at my cuz's house to ensure I could drag her ass out with us. Ended up getting ready there. Which included both of us suiting up in corsets, and me adding a push-up bra to my borrowed little(sister's) black dress. Smokey eye make-up, hair gel and a can of hair spray later, plus 5 minutes straightening whats already straight-or in my cuz's case, curling what is already curly- we headed over to Alyssa Dynamite's condo. On the way there, I got super excited, switching lanes like a pro and screaming out my windows. whatevs, let a girl live. Get there to find 4 very drunk and awesome women : ) Lea, Bev, Kristy Go Getta, and Alyssa Dynamite- who happened to be wearing the shirt before the shirt(actually the shirt before the dress? or the outfit before the outfit... however they say it on the show) and drinking mixed drinks where you have to ask "do you wanna get drunk or wasted??" We turned it into techno center, blasted oldies but goodies and all our favs, so hard the bass broke Alyssa's vases that were on the entertainment center. If the bass is too hard, you are too weak. We did a photo shoot during our pre game dance party where I coined the phrase "I'm hoping I can get a profile pic outa tonight". Next thing I know our group is split between 2 cars, heading to Boo, walking in there VIP cuz we're on the guest list bitches, and making our way thru a packed house. I'm telling you they(the cast) showed up about 15 minutes after we did. Lea grabs my arm and is dragging me through people, all over, we lose everybody else... only to walk right into the middle of a Sammy SweetHeart and Ronnie lovers quarrel. Cameras and all. Lea double takes, turns, gives her hottest drunk look and is like "Aren't you Ronnie from Jersey Shore?" Sammy throws her hands in the air says Fuck This and storms off. I'm just like hey whats up. Bouncers are like 'sign these waivers'. I got dragged around by lea a lot, following every cast member, met up with the Situation and Paulie D, got great pics. Somehow I got right up with Snooki and hugged her and took a pic. Don't hate, I was wasted. Bubble Gum vodka and sprite chased by 3 double shots of triple expresso vodka. 'Nuff said!
stories of the night:
Jazzy hugs snooki and helps hoist her onto a bar
While dancing with Snooki and JWow, Jazzy gets dance raped by huge black guy
While out smoking, alyssa knocks into Vinny, and her and Jenna have a nice quick down to earth convo with him. they are then joined by Mike the Situation
Alyssa and Situation have a convo about his ab workout video. She says "I'd buy it if I thought it'd actually work" He lifts and points and says "obviously it does". Waivers need to be signed. Pictures are taken- up close and personal.
Kristy comes up behind the Situation, grabs his ass... more waivers signed... more pics, cameras loving it.
Jazzy is taking pics and gets accosted by bouncer, Paulie D tells bouncer to chill out.
Then they bounced and went to Karma, I was too, um, ya know... to know why we didn't follow. Instead we went to the boardwalk to 3 Brothers to get pizza : )
I woke up alone on the couch in the lving room of Alyssa's condo in a bathing suit top and shorty shorts. Alyssa walked in her own front door. She's wondering how and why I got downstairs to the couch after she tucked me into her bed upstairs in her room. I'm wondering why she came in the front door. We are both wondering what shit went down all night.
Alyssa made pancakes for breakfast, then off to mom and dad Della Fave's house for food and beach : ) I mean crisping! <3 loved it, even the raccoon eyes from our shades. Then relaxing, only to drive home, clean up, and head to work for 2 hrs. I bailed and went to watch the $50,000 Grand Prix at the NJ state fair and horseshow.
All-in-all, you can tell, and the pictures prove... that this was the most epic night Ive had in a WHILE <3 : )
Here's the scoop
I got down there, stopped at my cuz's house to ensure I could drag her ass out with us. Ended up getting ready there. Which included both of us suiting up in corsets, and me adding a push-up bra to my borrowed little(sister's) black dress. Smokey eye make-up, hair gel and a can of hair spray later, plus 5 minutes straightening whats already straight-or in my cuz's case, curling what is already curly- we headed over to Alyssa Dynamite's condo. On the way there, I got super excited, switching lanes like a pro and screaming out my windows. whatevs, let a girl live. Get there to find 4 very drunk and awesome women : ) Lea, Bev, Kristy Go Getta, and Alyssa Dynamite- who happened to be wearing the shirt before the shirt(actually the shirt before the dress? or the outfit before the outfit... however they say it on the show) and drinking mixed drinks where you have to ask "do you wanna get drunk or wasted??" We turned it into techno center, blasted oldies but goodies and all our favs, so hard the bass broke Alyssa's vases that were on the entertainment center. If the bass is too hard, you are too weak. We did a photo shoot during our pre game dance party where I coined the phrase "I'm hoping I can get a profile pic outa tonight". Next thing I know our group is split between 2 cars, heading to Boo, walking in there VIP cuz we're on the guest list bitches, and making our way thru a packed house. I'm telling you they(the cast) showed up about 15 minutes after we did. Lea grabs my arm and is dragging me through people, all over, we lose everybody else... only to walk right into the middle of a Sammy SweetHeart and Ronnie lovers quarrel. Cameras and all. Lea double takes, turns, gives her hottest drunk look and is like "Aren't you Ronnie from Jersey Shore?" Sammy throws her hands in the air says Fuck This and storms off. I'm just like hey whats up. Bouncers are like 'sign these waivers'. I got dragged around by lea a lot, following every cast member, met up with the Situation and Paulie D, got great pics. Somehow I got right up with Snooki and hugged her and took a pic. Don't hate, I was wasted. Bubble Gum vodka and sprite chased by 3 double shots of triple expresso vodka. 'Nuff said!
stories of the night:
Jazzy hugs snooki and helps hoist her onto a bar
While dancing with Snooki and JWow, Jazzy gets dance raped by huge black guy
While out smoking, alyssa knocks into Vinny, and her and Jenna have a nice quick down to earth convo with him. they are then joined by Mike the Situation
Alyssa and Situation have a convo about his ab workout video. She says "I'd buy it if I thought it'd actually work" He lifts and points and says "obviously it does". Waivers need to be signed. Pictures are taken- up close and personal.
Kristy comes up behind the Situation, grabs his ass... more waivers signed... more pics, cameras loving it.
Jazzy is taking pics and gets accosted by bouncer, Paulie D tells bouncer to chill out.
Then they bounced and went to Karma, I was too, um, ya know... to know why we didn't follow. Instead we went to the boardwalk to 3 Brothers to get pizza : )
I woke up alone on the couch in the lving room of Alyssa's condo in a bathing suit top and shorty shorts. Alyssa walked in her own front door. She's wondering how and why I got downstairs to the couch after she tucked me into her bed upstairs in her room. I'm wondering why she came in the front door. We are both wondering what shit went down all night.
Alyssa made pancakes for breakfast, then off to mom and dad Della Fave's house for food and beach : ) I mean crisping! <3 loved it, even the raccoon eyes from our shades. Then relaxing, only to drive home, clean up, and head to work for 2 hrs. I bailed and went to watch the $50,000 Grand Prix at the NJ state fair and horseshow.
All-in-all, you can tell, and the pictures prove... that this was the most epic night Ive had in a WHILE <3 : )
Thursday, August 12, 2010
a chance at a claim to fame?
I have a weekend in Wunderland planned. Friday night after work, hop in the truck and head to the one and only, Jersey Shore. Straight to the heart of the show, none the less- to Bamboo Bar in Seaside. For me and my crew, its an old haunt. For the cast of the show its still a new gig. I've spent years partying and playing. I know vendors on the stretch of boardwalk. I've gotten a tattoo and a piercing from the famed Adrenaline. Seaside Graphix supplies me with a new JerZey Girl banner when it warrants. I know bouncers at Bamboo, I've grinded on the DJ, I've danced on the bar, I've never been thrown out, but almost on many occasions. What makes this weekend special? Besides that I am going down with my crew- Alyssa "Dynamite", Kristy "Go Getta", Bev, Wes, Dr. Al (we'll miss you Jeffy "Blue Balls", Rose "Moondancer", and Laura "Koocoo", we won't miss you Mike 'Subs' "PartyBoy") and whoever else shows face cuz they miss our shore craziness : ), BUT Anjelina from Jersey Shore will be there. The girl who apparently bailed out on two seasons of the show. I wouldn't know, I didn't watch. But Q102 will be buying drinks for all the haters ha and I'll be right there in that. The rest of the Jersey Shore cast is down for the summer in Seaside, I hope to see them at some point. YEAH BUDDY- HERE WE GO
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Reality shows on rampage
Everyone think they should have their own reality show- especially if theyve already been on one. They taste the limelight and they can't get enough. In Touch magazine is right when they call 'reality' personels C-list celebreities. The new thing? Avril Lavigne is dating some block head from 'the Hills' (the hills have eyes? poor girl!), and blockhead Brody Jenner wants a reality show about their relationship. Now, I respect Avril. I liked her music growing up even if it was too whiney for my harder counter parts. Easy listening, easy to sing along to, easy to understand and relate to. If she gfives in to this retard, I might have to throw her cd out, which won't be that big of a deal because I have a bunch of her songs on my Ipod. Needless to say, I won't be watching. yeah I'm sure she leads a pretty cool life, she seems pretty chill, but isn't she better than that? She's an A-list singer, it'd be below her to be on a dumb show when most shows about couples like that end in the duuuumps. I think she should say no thanks hun, have fun making the show, ill appear every now and again, but I've got better things to do. And until I find out whats going down with the 'show' idea, I'll be... well, seriously? Not really caring b/c I don't watch reality TV that much anyway (although You're Cut Off was GREAT)
Thursday, August 5, 2010
... can you handle us?
I can out do those jersy shore morons without even being there! Epic night last night. After work I drove down to Del Val, my beloved alma mater.It was one of my sorority sisters birthday. Good lord I tried to have an anti get drunk plan... fail! I walked into the bar and the bartender said "well well, what can I get ya, trouble??" He looked like he was about to crap himself when I asked for a water to start the night off. SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!! I only had one actual drink(which I didn't pay for), but like 7 or 8 shots(I think I bought 2? one for me and one for the Bday girl)- and a glass of water, lol. I was little miss social butterfly all over again. A bunch of my girls showed, a bunch of my frat brothers, other people I knew from school. All in all, a goooood night. Played some beer pong, took some epic pics... drank like a fish... everyone had fun(ok mostly everyone) I wasnt caught in any drama, and I loved it. Happy Birthday Private- thank you for reminding me that I am SOMEBODY to people who matter to me. : )
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Jersey Shore
Do you know what its like to watch a bunch of wanna-be idiots portray you in the wrong light? First, the tv show Greek made sororities and fraternities across the country look like drama filled morons. Add insult to injury by allowing Jersey Shore to have a second season. Not only are they getting $30,000 per episode to get wasted, get arrested, and get punched... but they do it so classlessly, so distastefully, so horrendously that you can't tear your eyes away from it, even though it causes physical pain. So I wrote a letter to People Magazine this week. Even if they don't print it in the magazine or post it anywhere, I'll still get my opinion out by posting it here...
RE: Jersey Shore
Dear Editor,
Every time I see “Snooki” in your magazine I gag a little. It takes no talent to do what those Drama Queens do. Snooki’s dad commented in the Aug. 9th issue that his daughter “accomplished her life-long (22 years?) dream” of being on TV (if that’s what you call it). There are obvious reasons why they wouldn’t put her on TV, unless it was for a show like this. As a real Jersey Girl who spent countless weekends fist pumping and partying it up at the Jersey Shore-not just in the summer, but year ‘round- the show and its new reality TV “celebrities” make it look like a trashy, taste-less, and drama filled thing to participate in instead of exciting and fun. I can’t believe someone thought it was a good idea to put that article back-to-back with the ‘Coming Home’ from war one. Heroes should be recognized and praised, idiots and classless hussies should be ignored. I’d rather live my own Jersey Shore than read about the ‘lift and point’ or see that horrendously oversized poof anymore.
P.s. When they deliver People to the office I make sure I grab it first so the ladies around the office can read it before we put it out in the waiting room-where children could destroy it. That’s how important it is to us.
Jasmine “Feisty” Francisco
...a Real Jersey Italian girl...
I have big hair and oversized sunglasses.
I drink corona from the bottle or absolut straight up.
I spend my weekends at the mall, My summers down the shore and late nights in a diner with a plate of cheese fries.
I know which exits are which and that there’s no decent beaches north of exit 100.
I have Springsteen and Bon Jovi on my Ipod.
I spent prom weekend in Seaside, and many a summer on LBI.
I know the mob isn’t just on the Sopranos.
I did Weird NJ before the book.
I sure as fuck don’t pump my own gas
I think if you talk shit about our state, you should get the fuck off our beaches.
I know better then to drive through Camden or Pasaic,and that there are nice areas of Elizabeth.
I know what good pizza & good bagels taste like.
I eat Boardwalk fried zeppoles, & taylor ham egg and cheese on a hard roll.
I’ve been on every coaster at 6 Flags.
I speak my mind and don’t care what people think.
I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it.
I know how to have a good time.
I know that sometimes a kiss is just a kiss,But sometimes it’s so much more.
When I fall, I fall hard,But I can bounce back just as quick.
I drive too fast, I drink too much. I play my stereo too loud,
I love to feel the wind in my hair, and the sand between my toes.
I know there’s no place on Earth quite like New Jersey.
And that no matter where life takes me this will always be home.
.... This is what makes me better than most hahaha I love being a Jerzey Girl..
RE: Jersey Shore
Dear Editor,
Every time I see “Snooki” in your magazine I gag a little. It takes no talent to do what those Drama Queens do. Snooki’s dad commented in the Aug. 9th issue that his daughter “accomplished her life-long (22 years?) dream” of being on TV (if that’s what you call it). There are obvious reasons why they wouldn’t put her on TV, unless it was for a show like this. As a real Jersey Girl who spent countless weekends fist pumping and partying it up at the Jersey Shore-not just in the summer, but year ‘round- the show and its new reality TV “celebrities” make it look like a trashy, taste-less, and drama filled thing to participate in instead of exciting and fun. I can’t believe someone thought it was a good idea to put that article back-to-back with the ‘Coming Home’ from war one. Heroes should be recognized and praised, idiots and classless hussies should be ignored. I’d rather live my own Jersey Shore than read about the ‘lift and point’ or see that horrendously oversized poof anymore.
P.s. When they deliver People to the office I make sure I grab it first so the ladies around the office can read it before we put it out in the waiting room-where children could destroy it. That’s how important it is to us.
Jasmine “Feisty” Francisco
...a Real Jersey Italian girl...
I have big hair and oversized sunglasses.
I drink corona from the bottle or absolut straight up.
I spend my weekends at the mall, My summers down the shore and late nights in a diner with a plate of cheese fries.
I know which exits are which and that there’s no decent beaches north of exit 100.
I have Springsteen and Bon Jovi on my Ipod.
I spent prom weekend in Seaside, and many a summer on LBI.
I know the mob isn’t just on the Sopranos.
I did Weird NJ before the book.
I sure as fuck don’t pump my own gas
I think if you talk shit about our state, you should get the fuck off our beaches.
I know better then to drive through Camden or Pasaic,and that there are nice areas of Elizabeth.
I know what good pizza & good bagels taste like.
I eat Boardwalk fried zeppoles, & taylor ham egg and cheese on a hard roll.
I’ve been on every coaster at 6 Flags.
I speak my mind and don’t care what people think.
I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it.
I know how to have a good time.
I know that sometimes a kiss is just a kiss,But sometimes it’s so much more.
When I fall, I fall hard,But I can bounce back just as quick.
I drive too fast, I drink too much. I play my stereo too loud,
I love to feel the wind in my hair, and the sand between my toes.
I know there’s no place on Earth quite like New Jersey.
And that no matter where life takes me this will always be home.
.... This is what makes me better than most hahaha I love being a Jerzey Girl..
Monday, July 12, 2010
I could do it
So, I just watched OchoCinco's finding love dating show. Tila Tequila, Brett Michaels, Ocho, the bachelorssss... why would you look for love like this? These shows might work out is there was a criteria to apply for it. Jersey Shore had a criteria. "GTL, be a partier who's not afraid to do the dumbest shit, Tan til you're almost Mexican,be able to create drama, be the best pretender(straight from the mouth of a real Jersey girl), and o yeah look good in swim wear." No lies, that was partially what it said(not verbatum) in the application. If they had coined terms like "I'm not gonna lie"- which is completely a jersey thing to say!!- or "legit" instead of "GTL" Snooki might not have gotten bunched. Nope, she would have any way. Hell, if I ran into her I'd hit her : ).
Back to the dating shows. how are you supposed to find love when you start off with 85 random girls? Thats how OchoCinco did it. In a room of 85 random people, I might find a few I could stand, a few I liked, a few I was indifferent about, and a bunch I'd want to have nothing to do with- the last two cateories I'd find out quicker than the first. I guess thats the general idea behind these things.
Here's my thoughts on it. I'm just one person. For the lifestyle I live, I'm considered pretty hot, I'm definately fun and outgoing, I know how to live, I know how to love, I know how to laugh- and goddamnit I do it all so well!! I think if I met up with a famous person, I could woo them on my own. No TV show necesary. I mean unless you want to follow me around with a camera while I prove it. I think an ordinary person with an extraordinary personality could be perfect for any 'superstar' out there. Take Matthew McConahey's(I know I spelled that wrong) fiance. I'm sure I am mistaken and she did something special like model or was a back-up dancer, but they are so right together. NO DRAMA, just living and loving life and each other. Amazing. I don't see why celebrities feel they have to stay in their own demographic. Its a small pool with the same fishies swimming around in circles. They worry and wonder if someone 'below them' will take advantage of them or won't be able to handle it. Personally, I think if Taylor Lautner and I were in the same place, I wouldn't recognize as who he is- cuz I just dont give a crap and I'm a lil oblivious/naive- but I'd definately approach him, say hi, start a smooth convo, show him the real me, and as long as he wasn't a dousche and blew me off, we could become friends. Same goes with Adam Sandler- I'm a huge fan of his. That egg-shaped head would be pretty noticeable tho! <3 Phil Houghs is 4 days older than me, he's a down home boy- I bet I could hang with him at a bar. I'd have Derek Jeter laughing and enjoying himself all night, even though he endorses Ford ha. Brett Gardner? Oh I'd approach him, say hi fancy meeting you here, can I buy you a drink? MOst girls expect guys to buy them a drink. I mean, geez, I sure as hell do. But to get to know someone, you have to be willing to buy a round.I may sound cocky, especially when in reality all I'm going offa is a small town lifestyle. But when I hit Philly, Hoboken, AC, the Jersey Shore, NYC and etc and have great results being an outgoing, slightly forward, very interesting person with a bubbly personality, a lust for living life, and an overall aurora of... is it wrong to call it awesomeness??(They don't call me Feisty for nothing!) Bottom line- I could do it. Not because I'm gorgeous, a diva, a rich lil princess, just because I'm ME... Feisty, kind, personable, fun. I have a little mean streak, a little sass, a little devil in me- and I'm not afraid to be real. My nose may be a little big, my hair may be a little short, I definately have curves... I use it to my advantage. If someone gave me a chance, I could wow them. : ) I do it on a normal basis
Back to the dating shows. how are you supposed to find love when you start off with 85 random girls? Thats how OchoCinco did it. In a room of 85 random people, I might find a few I could stand, a few I liked, a few I was indifferent about, and a bunch I'd want to have nothing to do with- the last two cateories I'd find out quicker than the first. I guess thats the general idea behind these things.
Here's my thoughts on it. I'm just one person. For the lifestyle I live, I'm considered pretty hot, I'm definately fun and outgoing, I know how to live, I know how to love, I know how to laugh- and goddamnit I do it all so well!! I think if I met up with a famous person, I could woo them on my own. No TV show necesary. I mean unless you want to follow me around with a camera while I prove it. I think an ordinary person with an extraordinary personality could be perfect for any 'superstar' out there. Take Matthew McConahey's(I know I spelled that wrong) fiance. I'm sure I am mistaken and she did something special like model or was a back-up dancer, but they are so right together. NO DRAMA, just living and loving life and each other. Amazing. I don't see why celebrities feel they have to stay in their own demographic. Its a small pool with the same fishies swimming around in circles. They worry and wonder if someone 'below them' will take advantage of them or won't be able to handle it. Personally, I think if Taylor Lautner and I were in the same place, I wouldn't recognize as who he is- cuz I just dont give a crap and I'm a lil oblivious/naive- but I'd definately approach him, say hi, start a smooth convo, show him the real me, and as long as he wasn't a dousche and blew me off, we could become friends. Same goes with Adam Sandler- I'm a huge fan of his. That egg-shaped head would be pretty noticeable tho! <3 Phil Houghs is 4 days older than me, he's a down home boy- I bet I could hang with him at a bar. I'd have Derek Jeter laughing and enjoying himself all night, even though he endorses Ford ha. Brett Gardner? Oh I'd approach him, say hi fancy meeting you here, can I buy you a drink? MOst girls expect guys to buy them a drink. I mean, geez, I sure as hell do. But to get to know someone, you have to be willing to buy a round.I may sound cocky, especially when in reality all I'm going offa is a small town lifestyle. But when I hit Philly, Hoboken, AC, the Jersey Shore, NYC and etc and have great results being an outgoing, slightly forward, very interesting person with a bubbly personality, a lust for living life, and an overall aurora of... is it wrong to call it awesomeness??(They don't call me Feisty for nothing!) Bottom line- I could do it. Not because I'm gorgeous, a diva, a rich lil princess, just because I'm ME... Feisty, kind, personable, fun. I have a little mean streak, a little sass, a little devil in me- and I'm not afraid to be real. My nose may be a little big, my hair may be a little short, I definately have curves... I use it to my advantage. If someone gave me a chance, I could wow them. : ) I do it on a normal basis
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Great Long weekend
So... for the past 8 days I was dogsitting at these rich people's house. Which means Pool, hottub, my own suite with fireplace, flat screen tvs in every room, huge kitchen to cook in, health food galore, a personal gym room... what more can a girl ask for to come home to? O yeah, my own private lake! lol. So I did what any girl would do, I read cosmo and allure and glamour at work, and went shopping because I felt like a rockstar! I found an exact outfit from one of the magazines at Marshalls- paid $35 bucks for the whole outfit! Good shopper! If I knew how to put pics in here, I's show you!! To end a good week, I had an awesome weekend! Minimal working, maximum partying, shore, sun, tons of fun! AAAND thanks to my personal gym, my at-home kickboxing exercises, my health freak foods and my rambuncscious little doggy friends, I dropped three pounds in one week- just in time to hit the Beach! LOVE IT!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
blah blah blah
I never wanted this blog to be the bitching and moaning over a slightly overweight jersey girl... o well. So today I mowed the lawn, make a slim fast shake to-go, tried not to eat everything in sight at work, drank lots of coffee and water, came home ate a small portion of dinner, did a 30 minute cardio workout, did some squats and crunches and such... and decided to get off my ass and make it to the 9:30 kickboxing class tomorrow morning. Exciting! Yes, I AM looking forward to geting my ass kicked tomorrow morning! I hope its glorious! I have a trip to the Shore 4th of July weekend, I'd like to make up for my recent slacking. I weighed 128.5 this Am... I don't plan on being as high as 130 again anytime soon.
Monday, June 21, 2010
failure causes you to re-evaluate
why do we fail? Because we're not perfect. We fail because we go through a lot of trial and error, and learning. Anyone can tell you no dont try that, I did and this is how wrong it went. But until you experience it for yourself, you never learn the lesson for yourself. Today I weighed 130lbs. And after bitching and moaning to my boyfriend that he shouldn't say I'm perftect as I am... well I moped around and procrastinated like always lol. then I did a treadmill workout to blast 250 cals, ate a small breakfast and vowed not to eat anything at work. Why can't I be like Jennifer Love and punish myself if I eat?? Well, I ate a lil something at work. And I had dinner(leftovers) with my fam after work. and then me and my boyfriend went on a four or so mile bike ride- to get parts for my broken truck. I've got a lot of work to do on myself
the key to blogging
The key to a good blog is finding a good host site to use. I'd never heard of this site until one of my best friends started a blog on it. Since then, I have blogged more then her, but I have recieved no comments, no followers, no views, no nothing. I can't do a search and come up with a link to my blog. So, maybe this is an ineffective blogging site? By saying and posting this statement, is the site going to shut me down? Is it like the government, who can apparently track what you say and do and then come after you? My boyfriend told me that if I said bad things about Obama over the phone, the government would hear and come and get me. So I purposely badmouthed the president and used words like bomb and airplane in the same sentence to test the theory. I was allowed to get on a overseas flight a few weeks later. So maybe thats a fallacy that they can hear me and take action. I don't know, maybe they will read this and come after me, and maybe this blogger site won't ever see what I wrote.
Time to work out and not be a lazy fat-ass. On an outgoing thought- I heard that Michael Douglass has a contract with wife Catherine Zeta Jones that says if she weighs over a certain amount, he can divorce her. My boyfriend then told me that she probabaly has a clause too that says if he loses anymore hair on his already too big head she can do the same. What funny people superstars are!!
Time to work out and not be a lazy fat-ass. On an outgoing thought- I heard that Michael Douglass has a contract with wife Catherine Zeta Jones that says if she weighs over a certain amount, he can divorce her. My boyfriend then told me that she probabaly has a clause too that says if he loses anymore hair on his already too big head she can do the same. What funny people superstars are!!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
control
Ya know what... this world has one thing that will never change.
whats the definition of the world CONTROL? To exercise authoritative or dominating influence over; direct.To hold in restraint; check
Everything must be controled. Chaos cannot reign. It doesn't reign in nature and thus it cannot else where. There is order.
Think about it:
Mom controls the household
Dad controls the income
Teacher controls the learning environment
Coach controls the team
Someone is usually in control in a relationship, unless they share it(never perfectly evenly tho)
What we don't fully comprehend is what we ourselves control. Our fate, our destiny... it is not out of our hands. One bad decision can affect you so much farther down the line, you'd ever connect the two events. Be Aware of what you control, and what controls you.
People who blame their alcoholism on their depression, their repressed memories, their parents... its bullshit. Something you did lead you to that end. Veterans who end up begging for change blame the country they served. Not true, somewhere you expected too much and got disappointed you 'didn't get what you deserved', somewhere you made a conscious effort to not give a f*** and let yourself become this way.
Fat people who blame MCDonalds for their obesity. Somewhere you watched a commercial and let it influence you, and then neglected to halt oyurself.
All-in-all YOU DID IT YOURSELF
I'm no exception. I complain about working 3 jobs- but what am I doing about it? What am I not doing about it? I complain about my crappy truck, about living at home with my rents... but I splurge on my spending too often to combat this. We DO it to OURSELVES.
Think about it............
whats the definition of the world CONTROL? To exercise authoritative or dominating influence over; direct.To hold in restraint; check
Everything must be controled. Chaos cannot reign. It doesn't reign in nature and thus it cannot else where. There is order.
Think about it:
Mom controls the household
Dad controls the income
Teacher controls the learning environment
Coach controls the team
Someone is usually in control in a relationship, unless they share it(never perfectly evenly tho)
What we don't fully comprehend is what we ourselves control. Our fate, our destiny... it is not out of our hands. One bad decision can affect you so much farther down the line, you'd ever connect the two events. Be Aware of what you control, and what controls you.
People who blame their alcoholism on their depression, their repressed memories, their parents... its bullshit. Something you did lead you to that end. Veterans who end up begging for change blame the country they served. Not true, somewhere you expected too much and got disappointed you 'didn't get what you deserved', somewhere you made a conscious effort to not give a f*** and let yourself become this way.
Fat people who blame MCDonalds for their obesity. Somewhere you watched a commercial and let it influence you, and then neglected to halt oyurself.
All-in-all YOU DID IT YOURSELF
I'm no exception. I complain about working 3 jobs- but what am I doing about it? What am I not doing about it? I complain about my crappy truck, about living at home with my rents... but I splurge on my spending too often to combat this. We DO it to OURSELVES.
Think about it............
Monday, June 7, 2010
self-image is key
Here's something no trainer can teach- beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. ever seen models on the runway? I could find a million things wrong with them and their outfits, and so could everyone else. But a child thinks everything and everyone is beautiful and worth their time. Animals don't walk away from us because of our looks, they look for something deeper(like a pocketful of treats!) We'd do well to take a moment to see the world from the eyes of an animal or a child.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
a new twist on a whole new world
check it out, mull it over, put a tune to it... let me know what you think
I can't sleep- i'd rather be wrapped up in you, o its so true
so i type away the words that id rather just say to you
and i let it replay in my h-h-head all the crazy things we do
slip into a state, a nightmare- if only you knew
Cuz im only afraid you dont know how i feel about you
maybe im not afraid if the world sees me as you do
cuz as long as you know me, i can show the real ME to you
cuz our passion is growing, my nightmares are almost through
Sometimes it feels like im falling into a endless pit
but if i see your face i kno im gonna live through it
so if you reach out your h-h-hand you'll catch me now
say 'its all a dream' when i ask you how
Cuz im only afraid you dont know how i feel about you
no im not afraid if the world sees me as you do
cuz as long as you know me, then i can show the real ME too
cuz our passion is growing, my nightmares are almost through
babay when my running slows me down
you'll be my wings, nothing can hold me doooown
and no matter what they say
no no no matter what they say (even momma can't say)
you're here with me to stay (won't you stay?)
cuz yoooou, yes you
are my whole new world (a whole new world)
so take this princess away
let the stars lead our way
to new adventuuuures, new horizons
whereveeeeer
Cuz im only afraid you dont know how i feel about you
no im not afraid if the world sees me as you do
cuz as long as you know me, then i can show the real ME too
cuz our passion is growing, my nightmares are almost through
so i type away the words that id rather just say to you
and i let it replay in my h-h-head all the crazy things we do
slip into a state, a nightmare- if only you knew
Cuz im only afraid you dont know how i feel about you
maybe im not afraid if the world sees me as you do
cuz as long as you know me, i can show the real ME to you
cuz our passion is growing, my nightmares are almost through
Sometimes it feels like im falling into a endless pit
but if i see your face i kno im gonna live through it
so if you reach out your h-h-hand you'll catch me now
say 'its all a dream' when i ask you how
Cuz im only afraid you dont know how i feel about you
no im not afraid if the world sees me as you do
cuz as long as you know me, then i can show the real ME too
cuz our passion is growing, my nightmares are almost through
babay when my running slows me down
you'll be my wings, nothing can hold me doooown
and no matter what they say
no no no matter what they say (even momma can't say)
you're here with me to stay (won't you stay?)
cuz yoooou, yes you
are my whole new world (a whole new world)
so take this princess away
let the stars lead our way
to new adventuuuures, new horizons
whereveeeeer
Cuz im only afraid you dont know how i feel about you
no im not afraid if the world sees me as you do
cuz as long as you know me, then i can show the real ME too
cuz our passion is growing, my nightmares are almost through
headache from working too hard
I'm suffering fran acute swelling of the frontal lobe, which causes pain. aka a headache. I've been all over the scale this week, as low at 126 and as high as 128.5.... this shit is ridiculous! I work too much again this week. I think that even tho its 7 50 on a saturday night, im gonna take a nap and then get up and clean my room. Doesn't seem like anything good is going on any ways. work 2moro AM then heading down to the boys in WallyWorld for the night. MILLVEILLE from a housewarming memorial day party on MONDAY!! yay!
p.s. i have realized the success of your blog rides on the blogging site you use. sink or swim.
p.s. i have realized the success of your blog rides on the blogging site you use. sink or swim.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
one month later...
Remember that whole thing about diet and exercise to drop pounds? well ive slacked on the exercise, but my tummy shrunk so at least im not eating 24/7... and yet i'm back to 128lbs. see how hard it is to maintain weight when you're not obese? those few extra pounds are killers! del val grad party for my little this weekend... had last weekend all to myself and my boy(took off b/c i figured i deserve it). so excited- talk of a place of our own, a pretty ring and thngs as such! : )
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Cinco de Mayo
I'm so excited. I know its been a while since I bored you with weight loss BS stories. Ha but tonight is Cinco de Mayo! So I got my nails done, had my eyebrows touched up, I'm about to do my hair. AND I HAVE PLANS TONIGHT! Getting in a fight with my boyfriend and then hanging out with my ex (who's engaged to the girl he dumped me for) helped me realize one thing- even if I am head over heels, I'm not dead yet. There is still living to be done and at any moment I could realize I'm not in the right place at the right time with the right person. So tonight I take my small-town PIC(partner in crime) out for a night of tequila, singing, dancing, and margheritas(since I can't drink Corona lol). I posted it on Facebook that I'll be at Riviera Maya all night, and I invited a girl from work and a guy I went to HS with who apparently thinks I'm smoking hot, o yeah and my ex again. We will see what the turn-out is. I started the day with a mild sense that I had drank last night, a slight head ache, the taste of alchohol still in my mouth, and hella sex hair!(minus the sex : /) But whatever. Until I lock in that real job, I worked so hard last week that need a break and I work so hard all the time that I deserve a break! So at 125lbs, I'm ready to throw on a mini skirt and a hot shirt, some wedge heels and go out and do it up!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
what day is it? you do the math
The sad truth is, I prob weighed in at 127-126 the day of the formal. I still looked hot tho- I wore my corset and sucked my belly in extra with "spanx". Everyone said how great I looked(it's nice to be the hot alumni). Sometimes I wonder if I will ever attain 'that body'- 122 pounds that is apparently my 'happy weight'. Its very hard. you have to find time to work out and time to eat right and time to relax... it all adds up
Monday, April 12, 2010
Day 21... monday, mondaaaay
Well, not too disappointing- today's weigh-in was 126.5... so weekends cost me 1lb. But have you ever seen a pound of body fat? It's pretty disgusting! When you think of it that way, its nothing to be happy about that splurging only deviated that much. The worst thing is... my treadmill is broken- so there goes one workout source. So today I did like 150 or 200 crunches before my shower, ran some errands before work, and at work I tried to walk around as much as possible. Now I'm going to do some more crunches while I install powerpoint on my computer... but work-out wise today was pathetic : /
And I didn't go tanning... whitey! lol
food-wise, I kept it pretty minimal... a slim fast at noonish, 2 cups of coffee, a whips yogurt at 4:30 and 3 small pieces of papa johns pizza at 7:30ish... I know not to starve myself or the body stores fat in 'starvation mode', but why does the body not pull the fat when it hungry?? Why store it, instead of use it? Ugh for how technologicaly advanced we think we are, our bodies retain the primitive urges...
And I didn't go tanning... whitey! lol
food-wise, I kept it pretty minimal... a slim fast at noonish, 2 cups of coffee, a whips yogurt at 4:30 and 3 small pieces of papa johns pizza at 7:30ish... I know not to starve myself or the body stores fat in 'starvation mode', but why does the body not pull the fat when it hungry?? Why store it, instead of use it? Ugh for how technologicaly advanced we think we are, our bodies retain the primitive urges...
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Day 20... Weekends are my downfall
I said it before and I'm sticking to it- especially for me, weekends are the killer to a diet. Everything runs irregular on the weekend. Waking times, plans, work hours, bedtime. If I go to bed at 2AM Friday and Saturday, how am I to get up at 9:30AM to exercise? And if I have work from 8-12 or 11:30-6 how am I to exercise and schedule a meal plan? You cant just stop work and make yourself a healthy meal. Enough complaining, because as far as most people are concerned this is an ill fated project. There are 6 days til the formal...not only limited on time but I have not weighed myself since day 18, so tomorrow's weigh-in may be a complete surprise in any direction. In my defense, I have readily noticed that I am not hungry every moment of every day, and that I enjoy housing my water bottle more than I do eating something in its place. Also, I have been getting rid of water weight that is just taking space, and I have seen the direct results. I feel leaner. Now the body is 70% H20 on a normal basis, but women's bodies are known to retain a lil extra. On the safe side, I continue to hydrate instead of eating unneccesarily, I'm just not retaining thanks to my Aqua-Ban : ) I was thinking of following the 3-day diet at some point this week... that plus exercise- I propose morning powerwalks on the treadmill, night powerwalks to dunkin, and possibly some step work-outs or light softball action in between- should help me reach my goal. But the real goal is to keep the weight OFF. Yeah, Get it!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Day 18
I forgot to mention yesterday that I played dress-up in my formal dress! I won't lie, I looked hot! Good choice Jack! And to make me happier, today I weighed in at 125.5 : ) Now I have to work 9 hrs and then waitress five hours... 14hr day............ ugh
So I sit at work, half trying to stay awake and half trying to let myself fall back asleep.Not that it would help me any. Its not like I don’t get enough sleep on any given night, if anything I oversleep every day! And that seems to be the biggest problem. Apparently scientist/doctors say that people who sit behind a desk need the least amount of sleep. The doctor I work for even said that why we are all slightly over weight because we are not up and moving about like he is, we sit in the chairs behind the counter all day. So I sleep too much, I snack too much, and the work I do doesn’t provide me any exercise… how am I supposed to not be in the overweight category?
So I sit at work, half trying to stay awake and half trying to let myself fall back asleep.Not that it would help me any. Its not like I don’t get enough sleep on any given night, if anything I oversleep every day! And that seems to be the biggest problem. Apparently scientist/doctors say that people who sit behind a desk need the least amount of sleep. The doctor I work for even said that why we are all slightly over weight because we are not up and moving about like he is, we sit in the chairs behind the counter all day. So I sleep too much, I snack too much, and the work I do doesn’t provide me any exercise… how am I supposed to not be in the overweight category?
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Day 17...
OMg so active today... hyper active that is! I got up early, argued with the insurance companies, had some breakfast, walked around my house argueing some more, got ready for work, ran sme errands and went to work.... geez! So weighed in at 127 again this am, but that was after I had a bowl of oatmeal and some juice. I usualy weigh myself when I wake up after ive gone to the bathroom and before I eat. Which I will do when I get up mad early for work toorrow. But this is why i keep this blog. it doesnt matter how many people tell me i'm not fat... pictures show that im not that thin either. but these last few pounds just wont come off... and millions of americans struglle with the fact that they dont have the extra time to tone up and melt off the excess junk. Any suggestions from anybody who's out there as to what I can do?
Had fun playing some softball... catching&throwing, hitting around, chasing down line drives and fly balls, and just being hyper : ) coffee, norepinephrine and chocloate will do that... plus i was bored at work, but got out a lil early, soooo : ) I think i had a good exercise session. Definately very active
Had fun playing some softball... catching&throwing, hitting around, chasing down line drives and fly balls, and just being hyper : ) coffee, norepinephrine and chocloate will do that... plus i was bored at work, but got out a lil early, soooo : ) I think i had a good exercise session. Definately very active
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Day 16
Breakthrough... weighed in at 126.5 this AM. Finally a step in the right direction! Maybe its the waterpills or the late night walk that boosted my metabolism. Switching up your routine jump starts weight loss/gain. My abs hurt, I did like 100 of those pike crunches plus some other ones from 8 minute abs. My fav ab work out is 8 minute abs+2 minute abs : )
Did some errand running this morning, had breakfast at like 10 the earliest i've eaten it in a while. work : ) all day
Had a little sushi for dinner, saving the rest for lunch tomrrow. It was a 'GLT' kinda day(Gym, laundry, tanning lol)- minus the laundry, unless you count me putting away the piles that were all over my room.
Those water pills make me pee like a racehorse lol... worse than just drinking water all the time! Set up the date for my oral surgery, April 20th(after formal <3). Took another 4 mile walk to Dunkin for another small coolatta that we shared, And I even stole someone's f250 diesel for shits and giggles. I feel energized but tired... if that makes sense. I feel like I'm making progress, but I need recharge time : ) crunches and bed!
Did some errand running this morning, had breakfast at like 10 the earliest i've eaten it in a while. work : ) all day
Had a little sushi for dinner, saving the rest for lunch tomrrow. It was a 'GLT' kinda day(Gym, laundry, tanning lol)- minus the laundry, unless you count me putting away the piles that were all over my room.
Those water pills make me pee like a racehorse lol... worse than just drinking water all the time! Set up the date for my oral surgery, April 20th(after formal <3). Took another 4 mile walk to Dunkin for another small coolatta that we shared, And I even stole someone's f250 diesel for shits and giggles. I feel energized but tired... if that makes sense. I feel like I'm making progress, but I need recharge time : ) crunches and bed!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Technically today is day 15
Stress hinders weight loss. Thinking your car has been stolen when in actuality the township towed it for "blocking a driveway" by a bumper is stressful, especially when its not my town. So needless to say, besides the walking around Wallington I have done today, I don't have too much time to exercise before work. INstead, I will clean my room so my moher keeps her mouth shut and maybe fit in 100 or so crunches before i go to run errands and then off to work. Maybe, otherwise I'll try to do something when I get home. weigh-in @ 128. Apparently with daily activities and semi healthy eating habits, thats the best I can do. FML. 11 days til the formal, and 3 or more pounds to drop.
Update:
After work and NCIS I decided to take a 4 or so mile walk with my friend to the Dunkin Donuts in town to share a vanilla bean coolatta. The walk home was mostly uphill : )
Also, I think because i drink so much water and just finished mentrating that I'm still bloated from water weight, so I'm giving water pills a try. As for calories, I prob had about 1100 but I wasn't counting. Minor Oral surgery tomorrow... not looking forward to THAT.
Update:
After work and NCIS I decided to take a 4 or so mile walk with my friend to the Dunkin Donuts in town to share a vanilla bean coolatta. The walk home was mostly uphill : )
Also, I think because i drink so much water and just finished mentrating that I'm still bloated from water weight, so I'm giving water pills a try. As for calories, I prob had about 1100 but I wasn't counting. Minor Oral surgery tomorrow... not looking forward to THAT.
Monday, April 5, 2010
The weekends kill the weight loss project
friday- work 15 hour days and party hardy all night
Saturday- sleep late and work all nght
Sunday- this one happened to be a holiday that I owrked from 11-4 anyway and then stayed at home with family
SOMEHOW i weigh in, today(monday) at 128. The holiday binging didn't hurt too much. Today there are drs apptments and cleaning to do and tanning to do after work and then i will try to schedule in a workout. But i learned this over the weekend
DO NOT SKIP WORKOUTS. Schedule them into your day... legit. You wouldn'y miss a meeting or an appointment or work that you're scheduled for? so why miss a workout. Schedule it at different times when your days become too routine.
More Later
Saturday- sleep late and work all nght
Sunday- this one happened to be a holiday that I owrked from 11-4 anyway and then stayed at home with family
SOMEHOW i weigh in, today(monday) at 128. The holiday binging didn't hurt too much. Today there are drs apptments and cleaning to do and tanning to do after work and then i will try to schedule in a workout. But i learned this over the weekend
DO NOT SKIP WORKOUTS. Schedule them into your day... legit. You wouldn'y miss a meeting or an appointment or work that you're scheduled for? so why miss a workout. Schedule it at different times when your days become too routine.
More Later
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Day 11-- give yourself a break sometimes
I won't lie, when mother nature calls a woman, its hard to be on a diet. But I did ok. I mean by the time I left work I'd only consumed 548 calories. After work I let loose. I think sometimes you have to just forget to count and be "normal". So I met my family at the chinese buffet and had some yummy chicken and broccoli, pork dumplings, and lo mein...mmmm. And then later on I went to friendlys with my boyfriend and my two friends and shared a kitkat sundae with Cristy. I don't feel like I over ate at the moment, but I sure do feel bloated.... I felt bloated and a little fatter all day. But its April 1st... so 17 days til the formal. Which means easy on the alcohol, crunch away, and try to weigh 123 by the 17th. Its only 5 pounds... coooome on! lol
So, those tips I found the other day- well here they are:
1. Buy a scale to measure foods(uncooked) b/c portion size is key!
2. Drink a gallon of water a day-water is apparently a fat burner.
3. Eat a protein or carb, but at the end of the day as your metabolism slows your carbs should be fibrous sources.
4. If you can't kill it or it's not grown, don't eat it!(clean, unprocessed foods only)
5. Eat a small meal every 3 hrs, and DO NOT SKip meals(negative effect)
6. Eat 1st thing in the morning(w/in 30 mins) and 30 mins after a workout
7. Prepare your own foods, or order plain and season them yourself
8. No fruit after 4pm(will be just another sugar)
9. Don't consume more than 1500 mg of sodium a day
10. No more than 75mg of sugar a day(including artificial sweeteners!)
11. Cardio 40 mins/5 days a week. target zone= 220-your agex75-80%
12. Multi vitamin every AM, supplement w/ antioxiants
13. Get enough rest (sleep) and for your body- do not over train
14. For better results, log your foods
So, those tips I found the other day- well here they are:
1. Buy a scale to measure foods(uncooked) b/c portion size is key!
2. Drink a gallon of water a day-water is apparently a fat burner.
3. Eat a protein or carb, but at the end of the day as your metabolism slows your carbs should be fibrous sources.
4. If you can't kill it or it's not grown, don't eat it!(clean, unprocessed foods only)
5. Eat a small meal every 3 hrs, and DO NOT SKip meals(negative effect)
6. Eat 1st thing in the morning(w/in 30 mins) and 30 mins after a workout
7. Prepare your own foods, or order plain and season them yourself
8. No fruit after 4pm(will be just another sugar)
9. Don't consume more than 1500 mg of sodium a day
10. No more than 75mg of sugar a day(including artificial sweeteners!)
11. Cardio 40 mins/5 days a week. target zone= 220-your agex75-80%
12. Multi vitamin every AM, supplement w/ antioxiants
13. Get enough rest (sleep) and for your body- do not over train
14. For better results, log your foods
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Weight loss blog... days 9 & 10
So yesterday would be day 9 I guess, I'm all fuzzy on the days. But yesterday I weighed in at 129, then blasted 250 cals on the treadmill, did 200 various types of crunches, and took in about 1000 calories. I also got some great tips which I will post later.
Today, day ten, I woke up early, fought with my computer(which probably does NOT burn calories), burned another 250 cals on treadmill and so far have had a cup of coffee and a 100 calorie banana.weighed-in at 127. more later
Today, day ten, I woke up early, fought with my computer(which probably does NOT burn calories), burned another 250 cals on treadmill and so far have had a cup of coffee and a 100 calorie banana.weighed-in at 127. more later
Monday, March 29, 2010
What day is it?? Weight loss blog
So, the last time i wrote i metnioned i was going to my alma mater to party with my friends. Thats a bad idea for a person who's consuming 1000 calories a day. But I went, and found ut that weight loss isn't just about controling your urge to eat, its about controling your urge to put anything to your lips. For instance, a glass or bottle. I went and partied hardy with my friends. I also slipped and hit my head and ended up in dolestown hospital for the 3rd time... well, the third time i was brought in in such a condition. Instead of focusing on my poor little head, the hosp thought I was another overly drunk college student who was wasting their time. Ether way, over the last 3 days i have not eated 3 meals a day and probably way less than 1000 calories. I've lost my appetite, I'm tired all the time, and I lost a lot of hours at work... Life is about choices, and you can't have everything. Want to be thin? Then either you party like the stars (cough nichole ritchie, lindsay lohan, or britney spears) and accept the bad rep that comes along with it, or you sip your drinks slowly like a good little girl and enjoy every momoent of what you are doing and who you are doing it with. Even before I tried dieting a million times I've been rolling this concept over in m head. Now that my head hurts, I hope it finally sets in. And I will begin with... I think it was day 5?... tomorrow when I feel better : ) sorry guys. Daily weigh-in is at 127.
P.S. On Saturday I bought a dress for the formal that is magnifique!! Now I gotta model that one and the one Robynn from work is lending me and pick one! : )
P.S. On Saturday I bought a dress for the formal that is magnifique!! Now I gotta model that one and the one Robynn from work is lending me and pick one! : )
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Day 4- Project Weight loss
For those of you how are saying "shut up you spoiled skinny brat", here's to you. Today I weighed in at 127...again. Which goes to show that you have to step it up a notch to reach your goal. But, I think I've reached a nice plateau- Thank you Miley Cyrus for making clothes (size M) that are decently stylish and fit me : ) So with my new Miley cyrus design shirt on, I have big plans for today that don't include over-dieting. I will go in early to work to enjoy a free luncheon from our Concerta rep (Krave sandwiches! my faaav). I will not try to calorie count it tho. I had half a cup of coffee for breakfast, I'll have another at work, I'll drink a whole bottle-if not more- of water, and when the doctor's leave early today, so will I. I'll be on my way to my Alma Mater for an all-greek alumni event : ) and I will probably grab some wawa mac 'n cheese on the way(how I miss it!) and I will have a few drinks : ) I won't get to work out today either, but I look great and my 'happy' hormones will be flowing. Have a great day!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Day 3 (project weight loss)
Today I not only canceled my subsription to a 'revolutionary new weightloss aid', but I tried a new ab exercise.
Pike 90
Lie faceup; raise legs until perpendicular to floor, feet flexed. Lower right leg so it hovers 1 or 2 inches off floor and place hands lightly behind head. In this position, do 15 crunches, lifting chest toward ceiling and lowering. Switch legs and repeat.
[Can anyone raise their legs perpendicular to the floor while laying on you back, cuz I can't! But I tried!]
P.s.- read this http://chris.pirillo.com/50-weight-loss-tips/
STATS:
Intake:1089 calories(+/- 10). I did a two mile work-out today, and blasted 348 calories! Plus, I brought my 'step' upstairs and did a step dance workout : ) Weigh-in at 127, yeah buddy! And let me tell you, I start my workouts with sneakers, shorts, and a long sleeve pullover sweatshirt on. When it gets too hot I take it off and finish in a tank top or even my bra. when you're in your bra and shorts and there's a mirror around while you workout, you can really see what you're working on. You may not like what you see at first, but soon you can see results. And seeing your problem area can either a)help you embrace it or b)help you erase it. Doing a step workout (aka dancing using the step to lil john's song 'shots') in a bra and shorty shorts shows me my ass-ets and my flaws all in one, something to be proud of and something to work on.
Pike 90
Lie faceup; raise legs until perpendicular to floor, feet flexed. Lower right leg so it hovers 1 or 2 inches off floor and place hands lightly behind head. In this position, do 15 crunches, lifting chest toward ceiling and lowering. Switch legs and repeat.
[Can anyone raise their legs perpendicular to the floor while laying on you back, cuz I can't! But I tried!]
P.s.- read this http://chris.pirillo.com/50-weight-loss-tips/
STATS:
Intake:1089 calories(+/- 10). I did a two mile work-out today, and blasted 348 calories! Plus, I brought my 'step' upstairs and did a step dance workout : ) Weigh-in at 127, yeah buddy! And let me tell you, I start my workouts with sneakers, shorts, and a long sleeve pullover sweatshirt on. When it gets too hot I take it off and finish in a tank top or even my bra. when you're in your bra and shorts and there's a mirror around while you workout, you can really see what you're working on. You may not like what you see at first, but soon you can see results. And seeing your problem area can either a)help you embrace it or b)help you erase it. Doing a step workout (aka dancing using the step to lil john's song 'shots') in a bra and shorty shorts shows me my ass-ets and my flaws all in one, something to be proud of and something to work on.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Day 2 of project weight loss
Day 2...
Started off a little rocky. I have a prob where I can't force mself to go to sleep until like 2am, thus I sleep til (today) 11AM. Horrible. I should be on the treadmill by 10am any given day, should be up eating at 9:30. SHOULD.
Something I want to share with you:
On my mirror in my bedroom I have taped a piece of paper with a sample eating plan for any day. It reads-
Hey there sexy- let's shed some poundage and look HOT!!!
up early?(6/7AM) Small SNACK
-1 piece toast w/ PB, Special K bar, fruit, and/or glass of juice
Breakfast(9/9:30AM)
-Spcial K cereal, Slim Fast shake, Toast w/PB, fresh fruit bowl, Lit&fit yogurt
-Coffee/gren tea.... maybe small glass of juice
Lunch (NOON/12:30)
-Sandwich with frech ingredients, Lean Cuisine mini pizzas, Sushi, Salad w/chicken, frech chicken quesadilla
-DRINK WATER
need a SNACK?(3/3:30PM)
-Special K bar, fresh fruit or veggies, crackers, cheese cubes
-cofee/green tea(drink WATER when you want to cheat!)
Dinner(6-7PM)
-start with fresh small salad w/tomatoes, carrots, and low-fat balsamic or O&V
-weight watcher/smart ones/lean cuisine dinner, single serving wheat or whole grain pasta, grilled chicken w/veggies
DESSERT is good for you(8:30-9PM)
-low fat frozen yogurt/sorbet, italian ice, dark chocolate pieces, special K bar, fresh fruit
-Coffee/green tea
In florida, this worked because each of those times was asociated with something in my work schedule. Not so much anymore. At 6am i'm snoozing, I'm lucky if I'm up at 9:30, 12 I'm trying to get ready for work, 3 I'm working, 6 (well I work til 7 and get home at 7:30)... sucks now.
Day 2's Stats:
I only stayed on the treadmill(since I was running late for work) long enough to burn 165 calories. I consumed 1173 (which included:vanilla slimfast shake,coffee with flavored creamer, a low fat mozzerella string cheese, dinner of one pork chop(breaded and fried) with a half cup of applesauce and a cup or rice pilaf, and a slimfast snack bar). I plan to do 100 or more crunches before bed... ugh... p.s. I weighed in at 128 this AM, prob lost a bunch of water weight is all which is NOT what I wanna do... but I'm WORKING ON IT
Started off a little rocky. I have a prob where I can't force mself to go to sleep until like 2am, thus I sleep til (today) 11AM. Horrible. I should be on the treadmill by 10am any given day, should be up eating at 9:30. SHOULD.
Something I want to share with you:
On my mirror in my bedroom I have taped a piece of paper with a sample eating plan for any day. It reads-
Hey there sexy- let's shed some poundage and look HOT!!!
up early?(6/7AM) Small SNACK
-1 piece toast w/ PB, Special K bar, fruit, and/or glass of juice
Breakfast(9/9:30AM)
-Spcial K cereal, Slim Fast shake, Toast w/PB, fresh fruit bowl, Lit&fit yogurt
-Coffee/gren tea.... maybe small glass of juice
Lunch (NOON/12:30)
-Sandwich with frech ingredients, Lean Cuisine mini pizzas, Sushi, Salad w/chicken, frech chicken quesadilla
-DRINK WATER
need a SNACK?(3/3:30PM)
-Special K bar, fresh fruit or veggies, crackers, cheese cubes
-cofee/green tea(drink WATER when you want to cheat!)
Dinner(6-7PM)
-start with fresh small salad w/tomatoes, carrots, and low-fat balsamic or O&V
-weight watcher/smart ones/lean cuisine dinner, single serving wheat or whole grain pasta, grilled chicken w/veggies
DESSERT is good for you(8:30-9PM)
-low fat frozen yogurt/sorbet, italian ice, dark chocolate pieces, special K bar, fresh fruit
-Coffee/green tea
In florida, this worked because each of those times was asociated with something in my work schedule. Not so much anymore. At 6am i'm snoozing, I'm lucky if I'm up at 9:30, 12 I'm trying to get ready for work, 3 I'm working, 6 (well I work til 7 and get home at 7:30)... sucks now.
Day 2's Stats:
I only stayed on the treadmill(since I was running late for work) long enough to burn 165 calories. I consumed 1173 (which included:vanilla slimfast shake,coffee with flavored creamer, a low fat mozzerella string cheese, dinner of one pork chop(breaded and fried) with a half cup of applesauce and a cup or rice pilaf, and a slimfast snack bar). I plan to do 100 or more crunches before bed... ugh... p.s. I weighed in at 128 this AM, prob lost a bunch of water weight is all which is NOT what I wanna do... but I'm WORKING ON IT
New Project- WEIGHT LOSS
What are blogs really for? Is it to share aspects of your life with people you don't know and hope they care, hope they have suggestions? is it a place to log your thoughts? I don't know if anybody reads this, but maybe this blog can help me out.
Many women in America struggle with weight. I'm not talking about 300+ pounds because truthfuly, that's your own fault if you let yourself go like that. I'm talking about an extra 10lbs, 20lbs, 50lbs, 75lbs, and yes, 100lbs. Have you ever seen a pound of fat? Its hideous!! Google it sometime, ugh you'll become sick to your stomache. What I'm getting at is being overweight is bad for your health and your psyche... But its the people who are slightly over weight who have the hardest time losing it and probably the hardest time coping with it. Glamour Magazine came out with some "normal size" models posing nude together. Most women who are struggling with that extra 15lbs or so were so grateful, men thought 'mmm I'd hit that', but some people wondered why in the world they'd be featured with the twigs that prance across theat magazine's pages. WHY NOT? I'd like to model in a magazine, or be in a movie, or be on tv....
BWI says I should weigh in at 122 to be healthy. I'm 5' 2" and I weigh in at 130. Not far off, but once you've seen a pound of body fat, you'll understand. Muscle is more dense than fat, but fat takes up more space- in all of its lumpy, jello-like gloriousness(ugh nauseous). My doctor told me I could stand to lose a few pounds, and I feel she's right. Those few pounds make a nice little 'bulge' over what could be abs. I'm Italian, so I accept I have child bearing hips as part of my frame, but I could shave an inch or two... I could be a size 7 or 5 jean again. And I've been trying for months and its a hell of a roller coaster.
SO ... DAY 1 ...yesterday morning I weighed in at 129.5. BY April 17th I'd like to be 122 if not 120. Any suggestions?
I am currently:
*Calorie counting
*DRinking a slimfast shake for a meal
*NOt eating anything after 8:30
*Doing an incline 4mph walking workout on my treadmill(I have bad knees)
*boosting my metabloism with 2-3 cups of coffee or green tea a day
*filling in with water when I'm hungry
DAY 1 Stats: I consumed 1143 calories(sonsisting of:coffee w/ flavored creamer, a pb&j pita sandwicg, 6 pieces of california roll, and some general tso'd chicken w/ rice, plus some snapple(not a whole bottle but still added in), did 200 crunches and burned 345 calories on the treadmill. This is how I roll
Many women in America struggle with weight. I'm not talking about 300+ pounds because truthfuly, that's your own fault if you let yourself go like that. I'm talking about an extra 10lbs, 20lbs, 50lbs, 75lbs, and yes, 100lbs. Have you ever seen a pound of fat? Its hideous!! Google it sometime, ugh you'll become sick to your stomache. What I'm getting at is being overweight is bad for your health and your psyche... But its the people who are slightly over weight who have the hardest time losing it and probably the hardest time coping with it. Glamour Magazine came out with some "normal size" models posing nude together. Most women who are struggling with that extra 15lbs or so were so grateful, men thought 'mmm I'd hit that', but some people wondered why in the world they'd be featured with the twigs that prance across theat magazine's pages. WHY NOT? I'd like to model in a magazine, or be in a movie, or be on tv....
BWI says I should weigh in at 122 to be healthy. I'm 5' 2" and I weigh in at 130. Not far off, but once you've seen a pound of body fat, you'll understand. Muscle is more dense than fat, but fat takes up more space- in all of its lumpy, jello-like gloriousness(ugh nauseous). My doctor told me I could stand to lose a few pounds, and I feel she's right. Those few pounds make a nice little 'bulge' over what could be abs. I'm Italian, so I accept I have child bearing hips as part of my frame, but I could shave an inch or two... I could be a size 7 or 5 jean again. And I've been trying for months and its a hell of a roller coaster.
SO ... DAY 1 ...yesterday morning I weighed in at 129.5. BY April 17th I'd like to be 122 if not 120. Any suggestions?
I am currently:
*Calorie counting
*DRinking a slimfast shake for a meal
*NOt eating anything after 8:30
*Doing an incline 4mph walking workout on my treadmill(I have bad knees)
*boosting my metabloism with 2-3 cups of coffee or green tea a day
*filling in with water when I'm hungry
DAY 1 Stats: I consumed 1143 calories(sonsisting of:coffee w/ flavored creamer, a pb&j pita sandwicg, 6 pieces of california roll, and some general tso'd chicken w/ rice, plus some snapple(not a whole bottle but still added in), did 200 crunches and burned 345 calories on the treadmill. This is how I roll
Monday, March 22, 2010
whats a 'Creak?'
So today was my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. After saying hello to the puppies i the mall's petstore and having dinner in the mall food court and watching 'She's outa my league' we stood in the doomed overhang of the theatre talking and making out and being silly because we didn't want to venture thru the rain. So I started molesting him and telling him what fun it would be to go into one of the alcoves and mess around, and he said "You're such a lil ... CREAK." And I laughed and said "A what? A creak? What the hell is a creak? Is that like a mix between a creep and a freak? Are one of those what you meant to say? Cuz i'll be sad if you're calling me a creep, but you're right if you're calling me a freak!" (in the kinky way, ya kno)
you might have had to have been there, it cracked me up and our laughter resonated off that archway, drowning out the rain
you might have had to have been there, it cracked me up and our laughter resonated off that archway, drowning out the rain
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Cancun cont'd....
Our most overused phrase for the vacation was "what time is it?". Probably because we turned our phones off on the plane to avoid charges, so our 'watch' was my ipod touch(and needless to say we didn't bring it everywhere with us). I won't lie, the thought crossed my mind countless times that I could, or rather should, miss my return plane and stay forever. Sand, sun, and the most gorgeous shade of blue that water has ever been. Jungle, beaches, natural and man made wonders... and a simpler lifestyle overall. Move down there and man a catamaran for the next 40 years- yes please! Live on a Ranchero and be a vaguera riding the beaches? You got it! I could work at one of the hotels, helping out those who speak english for all i care lol. It could be...
What did we do? Drink, yes...eat,yes...mayan ruins, check(one of the 7 wonders btw)...drunk boat(or catamaran) to the isla mujeres(Island of women), hell yeah...ride a scooter all over the island, stall it, and be slightly stranded in the ghetto because we couldn't get it started, nuf said... hold a shark- you'd better believe it... ride a jetski in the carribean ocean, yep... ride a 'stang across Playa del Carmen, Thank you God yes. What didn't we do? Hit the clubs? I do that enough back home. We substituted clubs for Margaritavilla and had a blast without paying a covercharge. The kids at our hotel who were from canada kept calling me the yeager girl cuz I was wearing my yeagermiester shirt when they met me. They met me cuz I overheard them talking about being from new brunswick and I was like "you guys are from jersey too?" they were highly confused until I told them there was a new brunswick in NJ and they told me there was a new brunswick in canada- I was surprised, they didnt have much of an accent. Luckily for us we missed out-for the most part- on the invasion of teeny boppers... I mean the Mexican police were lining the road into Cancun in full bullet proof armour with military rifles when we were leaving and the Spring Break season was about to start. Not to mention a military boat doing who knows what in the water right off of our resort. Like really? is that necesary?
Overall, Jack and I survived a week in a foreign country without killing each other. Actually, the thought never occured. And by far the most beautiful thing I saw: the veiw from horseback. Being on a horse is breathtaking enough to some one with an equestrian passion... Being on horseback on a white sand beach with coral strewn and palm trees leaning into the lapping waves, sun beating down and no sense of time or relativity to the modern world, where blue sky meets slightly whitecapped bluer water... God must have been beside himself. Sometimes I let myself doubt my religion, but a sight like that is not a happenchance, or a freak of nature... God made things beautiful, far away from war and hate and differences. Someday, I hope my place in heaven is as miraculous as that beach that I rode out onto from the jungle path. I was in awe, somthing I am not in often... not on a normal basis at least. Thank You God
What did we do? Drink, yes...eat,yes...mayan ruins, check(one of the 7 wonders btw)...drunk boat(or catamaran) to the isla mujeres(Island of women), hell yeah...ride a scooter all over the island, stall it, and be slightly stranded in the ghetto because we couldn't get it started, nuf said... hold a shark- you'd better believe it... ride a jetski in the carribean ocean, yep... ride a 'stang across Playa del Carmen, Thank you God yes. What didn't we do? Hit the clubs? I do that enough back home. We substituted clubs for Margaritavilla and had a blast without paying a covercharge. The kids at our hotel who were from canada kept calling me the yeager girl cuz I was wearing my yeagermiester shirt when they met me. They met me cuz I overheard them talking about being from new brunswick and I was like "you guys are from jersey too?" they were highly confused until I told them there was a new brunswick in NJ and they told me there was a new brunswick in canada- I was surprised, they didnt have much of an accent. Luckily for us we missed out-for the most part- on the invasion of teeny boppers... I mean the Mexican police were lining the road into Cancun in full bullet proof armour with military rifles when we were leaving and the Spring Break season was about to start. Not to mention a military boat doing who knows what in the water right off of our resort. Like really? is that necesary?
Overall, Jack and I survived a week in a foreign country without killing each other. Actually, the thought never occured. And by far the most beautiful thing I saw: the veiw from horseback. Being on a horse is breathtaking enough to some one with an equestrian passion... Being on horseback on a white sand beach with coral strewn and palm trees leaning into the lapping waves, sun beating down and no sense of time or relativity to the modern world, where blue sky meets slightly whitecapped bluer water... God must have been beside himself. Sometimes I let myself doubt my religion, but a sight like that is not a happenchance, or a freak of nature... God made things beautiful, far away from war and hate and differences. Someday, I hope my place in heaven is as miraculous as that beach that I rode out onto from the jungle path. I was in awe, somthing I am not in often... not on a normal basis at least. Thank You God
Friday, February 26, 2010
CANCUN 2010!!!
So, after our second wintery blast in a week(we got 15-18 inches! I HATE SNOW!) I have fnally begun packing for my 1st aniversary trip with my boyfriend, Jack. We are leaving at 5am Wednesday March 3rd for Sunny Cancun Mexico! First of all, I have never been out of the COUNTRY which is super exciting, and this will be the farthest I've ever been away from home! I'm so excited! I got my passport 2 or 3 weeks ago, around the time I cut and dyed my hair to get a new, more grown-up image : ) The snow had only made it more apparent to me that I nee a vacation with my lovey. He needs it too, poor kid works his ass off : ( sad face. We are meeting up with my good friend Ruth and her AF hubby, even though he broke his leg in two places a few weeks ago... damn ice patch! Even tho weather.com says check flight delays due to scattered t-storms, we'll be arriving there, not taking off, so I'm not concerned... yet. But we are looking at a high of 80 something degrees... thats something to look forward to! we are gonna pick up lots of sunscreen for the whiteys we are going with(everone but me actually, lol since I took up tanning a month ago to get myself a nice base) and Ruth and I have already planned our wardrobes-- mostly sundresses and yes, bathing suits! The only real problems i foresee are a little bit pf rain, a lot of alcohol(since its all inclusive), some sunburn(not for me!) and maybe runing out of time to do all the fun things we wanna plan- horseback riding on the beach, atv tours thru the jungle, shopping downtown, sampling the nightlife, jet skiing, eating a dolphin(Ruthann's idea), sex on the beach(the drink haha not) and etc!! A funny note to leave you on- THIS WILL BE MY FIRST SPRING BREAK EVER and I'm not even in school anymore! Cancun, here I come! Hope you handle JerZey!
Monday, February 1, 2010
One lightning cloud : )
When I lived in Florida(October 2009 when I worked @ Triangle B Ranch in Anthony), I saw something pretty cool. One morning I came out...it was pitch dark, being 6 in the morning and all. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of light. There weren't any lights outside the barn or any cars passing by, or really anything to cause it. But in a few minutes it happened again. Since it startled me I stood still and studied the direction it came from. In a few moments (could have been seconds lol IDK) I found the source of my flash. A single tiny storm cloud was being illuminated but the huge bolts of lightning it randomly emitted. Single streaks at a time revealed one small dark cloud. But that one cloud had enough power and pressence to catch my attention and keep it. I watced that cloud slowly make its way across the sky -carefree- joined by no others, needing no other, just doing what it wanted to do. It didn't bother anyone. That single cloud just made me feel less alone at I time when I felt downtrodden. That cloud said eff you clear night sky, I'm gonna do my own thing. Its not that it didn't need anything else in its existance, it just proved that it could stand on its own, be different and unique, awe-inspiring without even trying. Since its an inatimate object, it was probably a fluke of nature, a rare occurence caused by just the right elements being in place at a certain time. But it helped me realize that there had to be something more out there. Its not just me here, its not just one place, one thing, one moment in time... there are elements that make up all of those things that have to occur at the wrong or right moment in the right or wrong place to achieve certain results. I am a firm believer in fate, or destiny. Many times over i realized if I hadnt been there or done this it wouldnt have lead to that, and furthermore, if i was there or had done that it could/would have lead to THAT. This true life story could get confusing without naming people and places, but here goes: Recently I was supposed to go somewhere with some people and meet up with someone else, and I had consciously chosen not have a certain someone come with me. Well, long story short- I didn't go to that place with those people, didn't meet up with that someone else, but instead stayed where I should have been all along- right with that certain someone. I know something regretable would have happened had I gone, but before I didn't care. I wanted to test out the possibilities. Instead, I ended up being right were I was meant to be all along. FOR ONCE. It doesn't always happen like that. What about the people who worked in the Twin Towers who woke up late or with a stomache ache on the morning of Sept 11th? Maybe someone got into an accident on the way and thought they started their day off horribly but ended up being saved from the tragedy? We don't know if the guy who took down the plane in PA that same day had been thinking for, o how long, that his life hadn't amounted to anything yet and probably never would. But he unknowingly saved lives and showed a selfless heroism in the midst of a dark moment. What if my truck had struck another vehicle as it made its way off the road, or if the pole had given out when it broke and my truck had rolled over, or if I had woken up in time to feel the pain and cause more damae to myself by tensing up? Or what if I hadn't fallen asleep on a nearly desserted country road, instead on a highway with concrete barriers and more traffic. What if...What IF... WHAT IF? There is something at work in the world. I don't know what to call it... God(yes, I'm Catholic and I believe he exists), fate(doesn't God leave us up to our own antics through use of free will?), or Destiny(that our paths are predetermined, though we screw ourselves by straying and such)... you have to admit... there's something.
Side note: The only time I've ever seem something remotely like this was from the window of the plane that took me home the first time I visited the ranch in Florida. A huge black cloud far below that was its own powerhouse. Amazing. Strangely enough, I saw my little cloud maybe a week before I left Florida to return home to Jersey and leave behind the oppression and 21st century indentured servitude that was my life at Triangle B Ranch.
Side note: The only time I've ever seem something remotely like this was from the window of the plane that took me home the first time I visited the ranch in Florida. A huge black cloud far below that was its own powerhouse. Amazing. Strangely enough, I saw my little cloud maybe a week before I left Florida to return home to Jersey and leave behind the oppression and 21st century indentured servitude that was my life at Triangle B Ranch.
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