Hello world, are you out there??

Today, I think I'll focus on my relationships in life.
... with my boyfriend
We have been fighting so much lately. I assume that my depression of being jobless and near broke and having to depend on him to support me financially and emotionally has a lot to do with it. I resent him, I resent myself. My only goal in life is to become financially independent. Pay my half of rent, pay for my truck, pay my student loans and credit card debt and cell phone bill and utilities, and oh yeah- pay for every little extra thing I need or want in my life. The past month and a half has been about personal sacrifice for me.
       But there I go again- saying ME. This is a relationship, between two things...two people.
Personal sacrifices: we have to find activities that are more reasonably priced. No $100 a night restaurant bills, no high class bars/clubs in the city, no shopping sprees, and even budgeting ourselves on the dog we are looking to get. $1200 dog, no bueno. $800, more doable. No his and hers matching motorcycles. No vacation. No bigger tv. I guess in the real world, these are all wants, not necessities. So, lets be real, and not selfish.
Reasonably priced activities are not hard to find. We Groupon... what a great idea. Kudos to the person who thought of that! We enjoy hiking, long walks, simple things like walking to the convenience store to get our lottery tickets. Walking the streets of Hoboken and the waterfront on St. Pattys day instead of going all the way into NYC(which was a mad house of wanna be drunken leprechauns). We don't go out to bars Fridays and Saturdays unless invited by groups of people. We wash and detail our own cars, do our own oil changes (all weather permitting).
But at the same time, I want to do the things that cost money. I want to go to the posh clubs in the city, dance to the orgasm inducing bass pumping forth from 'renowned' DJs while wearing impossibly high heels that kill my feet and back and too much make up. I want to have his and hers bikes to take out on gorgeous days. I want to have jet skis to trailer to the shore for the weekend. But above all, I want a job. Obviously the burdens from my financial status affect our financials as a whole. And in turn it pisses me off to have to sit home on the weekends instead of enjoying fun and exciting things. So, open for discussion: what are a few more low cost activities for a couple who enjoy trying new and exciting things??
To help my strained relationship, I borrowed a book from my sister...the Man Whisperer. It gives you ideas of how to approach your man without nagging to get him to do what you want and as a whole make you both happier. Mission 1... our 3 year anniversary is this week. I would like to go to a nice restaurant or something. 3 years is a big deal. Its years... not months or something trivial... Years. Some marriages don't even last this long. I think it needs to be celebrated as if it were a big deal. The book gave a suggestion. Identify your problem or demand... I want to go out to dinner to a nice place. Then find an unobtrusive way-act like your not demanding anything, just make a statement or observation- to bring it up. The example in the book to resolve this same problem was the woman says to her spouse "I was thinking, I haven't worn that sexy black dress you like in a while. You know, the backless one that drops down to here?" So I paralleled by mentioned to my boyfriend that I have 2 very nice dresses that he's never seen me wear. In the book, the guy becomes intrigued by the mental image the woman created. She goes on and says she was hoping that maybe this week she'd get a chance to wear it for him. He thinks about it and by the end of the week makes plans at a nice restaurant. In real life, my boyfriend replies with "holding out on me?" and then changes the subject. I say "I would never, you know I love to dress up for you. I just realized I have two dresses you've never seen me wear, that's all. one still has the price tag on it! lol, I know how mad you feel about clothes with price tags still on them!" Now the book says to sit back and let him think about it. He changed the subject, started talking about how sad he is that Jersey Shore is over, so I said "oh man, no jersey shore this week, what are we going to do with our thursday nght???" (THURSDAY IS OUR ANNIVERSARY!!!!!) and he replied : NO JERSEY SHORE?! sigh, so sad. That's all. Now I'm not supposed to make a demand, or control the situation by giving any more specifications or by going over his head and planning something for us that he feels obligated to do. I'm supposed to zip it and wait til he does it on his own. Based on his reactions I'm pretty sure there's nothing to wait for. Maybe he'll surprise me?? Thoughts? Comments??


Side note::
Relationship with my body.... I'm very mad at my body right now, and actually its my own fault.
I did so well since August of 2011 in losing weight, I dropped over 20lbs... we will say 23 to be safe : ) The number sounds great, the results weren't bad. Why am I mad? 20 something pounds included 2 cup sizes and a waist/ass reduction from size 11 to size 5. Waist reduction I can live with, ass and boobs? COME ON! I now have the chest of a 14 year old boy... : ( I once got hit on at a bar by a group of guys that called me PT... they did this for weeks before I walked up to them to inquire about their staring. PT stood for Perfect Tits. That no longer applies. I look down my front and I see my belly. A belly that after a 20 something pound loss should be flat... but isn't. Stage 2 of anger at my body- I lost 20 something pounds but I still have a bulge of belly fat. I think that belly had a lot to do with stress levels... so I took fish oil daily(almost) to try to eleviate that, I even had my boyfriend be my personal trainer and force me to do ab work outs. No good. Slimmed down, but I still looked 4 months pregnant...AWKWARD!! And now, due to lack of work, depression, and boredom... I have gained back 7lbs... and it shows. So what now? without money to go to the gym and zumba/kickboxing classes... how am I to drop off those 7 regained pounds? I think I need to bring home my old bike from my parents house and start getting reacquainted. But I'm also open to suggestions. Walks 2 nights a week are not helping me much.